This Never Happened by R. Tim Morris

Author:R. Tim Morris
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-04-09T21:27:58+00:00

In the beginning, there is darkness. It’s just a big, black nothing. This is more than the pitch-black fear children know, hiding in their closets at night with the lights off. This is really, truly nothing. If you could scream, you know you wouldn’t hear yourself. But it’s not scary, you know that much. It just is.

Somewhere along the way everything shifts from being nothing to more of a feeling of nothing. And because there’s no sense of time here you cannot tell if you’ve been experiencing this for merely a slice of a second or maybe days. Months. Years, even. Then there is a cloudy shine in the distance, like the dark glimmer of onyx behind a thin, veiled curtain. Or the hint of something under a door. You want to step closer but it’s impossible to pinpoint the direction. Anyway, you cannot move; you’re paralyzed. You can only watch helplessly. If watching is truly the right word for what it is you’re doing right now.

The shine intensifies. Slowly, is it? Or in the blink of an eye? It’s only a dot, a weak, grey pinpoint at first, then the light spreads wider. It spins through the color spectrum until pure white encompasses the totality of your vision. It’s all you can see. It is the opposite of how this all started: nothing but white now, and again, you cannot be sure for how long.

Impossible as it seems, this white nothing intensifies ever brighter. Now it is far more than just light, and you can feel it physically too. Your body quivers. Your bones feel cold. Your blood thickens and scratches your insides. Teeth chatter. Fingernails split. Hair grows in, instead of out. Eyes burn and water up. Strong winds smack you in the face. Tears stream across your cheeks and down your neck, trickling over your shoulders and along your naked back. You cannot tell if you’re even seeing anymore or if that is a sense you no longer require. The same goes for your hearing, smell, taste, and touch. All of your senses have either abandoned you or been rendered inert.

But it gets worse before it gets better. Better before it gets worse. You still can’t quite tell which is which. Whatever this is, it slowly filters from your body and moves into the Earth itself. You’re certain that is what’s happening. As this occurs, you’re one and the same; the totality of the entire planet and your single, tiny, insignificant body. You are next to nothing. You are epically small. The feeling is astounding; it is the one part of this event you want more of. You want more time in this unity, but it passes so quickly.

And then, right before it’s all over, you see it.

Instead of the white nothing of everything, you see a life form. Just a fetus at first, but then you blink.

A baby now.

Blink.

It’s you. There you are. Cepik Small. It’s not like a mirror though, more like an out-of-body experience.

You blink again and see a pair of shoes.

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